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Employee Assistance Program
Self-Help
Talking with Your Teen
(for a printable version, click here)
From an EAP Lunchtime Learning Session presented by Debra Rozanski, Ph.D., EAP Coordinator
Tips for Getting Your Teen to Talk
- Listen more. Talk less.
- Don't assume you already know.
- Ask specific questions.
- Use "I" instead of "you."
- Soften your voice.
- Initiate conversations during a shared activity.
- Acknowledge what is not being said.
- Get curious, not defensive.
- Don't let your feelings block your ears.
- Pass it forward.
- Talk solutions.
Door Openers
- What do you think?
- I'd love to hear more about that.
- That's a good question.
- I don't know, but let's find out.
- It sounds like that is very important to you.
- Do you want to talk about it?
- You're too young to understand.
- The answer is no.
- Because I said so.
- There's nothing to discuss.
- I don't want to hear about it.
- It's none of your business.
- Don't come to me if you mess up.
- Why are you asking me that?
- I don't care what you or your friends think.
- Don't question my authority.
- How could you be so stupid?
- Talking to rather than with.
- Labeling and belittling.
- Jumping to conclusions.
- Ordering, prescribing and lecturing.
- Filibustering.
- Talking over the problem.
- Sending mixed messages.
- Your love and support.
- Someone to listen.
- 'Listen' doesn't mean 'agree'.
- A sense of balance; listen to me and I'll listen to you.
- For you to let go when the time comes.
Door Closers
Barriers to Communication
What Teens Really Want from Parents
Gandhi (1948)
Keep my words positive.
They become my behaviors.Keep my behaviors positive.
They become my habits.Keep my habits positive,
because my habits become my values.Keep my values positive,
because my values become my destiny.
For additional information on Lunchtime Learning Programs or questions about the Employee Assistance Program, please contact:
Debra Rozanski, Ph.D.
Coordinator, Employee Assistance Program
debra.rozanski@csun.edu or (818) 677-2681